Attention Parents

Attention all you parents of little bundles of joy. You newly blessed individuals who are looking into your children's eyes. I just wanted to tell you congratulates . . . and give you a bit of advice.

1. Yes, your child is likely adorable. The smile for pictures, and we save those moments where they are most darling. I too love children, so I can appreciate those moments, but let's all face reality. Children whine, cry, scream, and complain A LOT, and those around you who have not yet chosen to have children do not (in all likelihood) want to put up with you obnoxious child.

2. Amusement Parks are not a place for small children. They whine and cry as they get sun burnt while you attempt to enjoy yourself. You place them in these baby "slings" and tote them around all day only to wonder why, in 10 years, your child complains about his/her back. Think about the consequences of your actions, and perhaps even research the things to which you are subjecting your children (but perhaps I am asking too much . . . the general population researching? What was I thinking?).

3. Amusement Parks are not for hyperactive approximately 10-year-olds either. If your child is going to stand in line and sway back and forth careless of those behind or in front of him, he does not belong at the park. If he is going to grab onto the railings and swing his feet into those around him (who don't even know him), he does not belong at the park. If he is going to disappear frequently in line causing you to run after him and disrupt those around you, he does not belong in the park (GET THE PICTURE??!!??).

As you can probably tell based solely on this rant, I recently went to an amusement park and saw so many things that I would not dare even try to describe. I think the best way to leave this post is to say, the oblivious nature of self-centered and egotistical parents amazes me!