Societal Gift Expectations

Last night I realized that I had not yet written thank you notes for the engagement and graduation gifts that I had received from friends and family. As I sat here for nearly an hour trying to make what I find to be a nonsensical tradition meaningful (by what I wrote inside), I stumbled into a particularly bitter state of mind.

Before graduation, it is traditional to send out graduation announcements. Then, the person who receives the announcement is expected to either show up with a gift or send one. Then, the recipient of the gift is supposed to write a thank you for the rather appreciated show of generosity. Let's examine this process a bit more thoroughly.

I send the announcements. If those who received the announcements do not with to break from societal norms (which could often result in a casting off by those who learn of their societal deviance) they WILL send a gift. And then, after shaking off my shock from the receipt of the gift, will write a thank you note for such an amazing act of generosity . . . but was it really generosity? Or was it just a reaction to the announcement they found in their mailbox?

The whole process seems quite ridiculous . . . but alas . . . I will of course be sending out invitations to my wedding in many months, and there will be a similar reaction. Over analyzing gift giving . . . what a day!

Wedding Bells

The day comes when a wedding date is set. The proposal was great, and the weeks that followed were wonderful, but now it is time to start planning. So who is in charge of the planning, and why is there a wedding ceremony in the first place? I suppose my actual question would be better worded as: Is the wedding really for the two people who want to spend their lives together?

In my own planning, and in the observations of close friends' weddings, I have noticed a trend. The wedding typically becomes more of a family social event with requirements pertaining to the guest list, what should be served, and where the event should take place. No wonder everyone says that wedding planning can be so stressful . . . there are so many people who think that there is ONE RIGHT way for a wedding to take place.

Oh the joys of being the one who tries to break away from the traditional . . . the next year will certainly be entertaining.

Keep Out . . . It's Private

Although I keep a journal, I don't think that I will ever understand the idea. I mean, think about it. We have something private that we want to say, so we run to our one notebook, or our computer file and we document (all in one place) our inner most thoughts. Then carefully we often write phrases on the cover or document that read: Keep out! Private! or For My Eyes Only. I don't know about you, but if I see something that says Private, I am suddenly become a rather curious person.

So after we put our thoughts in a public place (where almost anyone could read them if I they find them), we get defensive when someone finds out that we hate them, or that we are unhappy. We are outraged by the lack of privacy we "seemingly" have.

I suppose I just have to wonder . . . why would we even bother writing the things that can be found in our journals if there wasn't at least some small part of us that meant the things that our found on the pages? And if we mean the things that are found on those pages, how is hiding our thoughts and feelings away going to change any of the things we rant about?

(Note: I am not, as I may have at one point, advocating any form of total honesty. Some times there are things that we have to keep silent if we want to continue to exist in our current world and in our current relationships).

Why Defy Reality?

A new blog. A fresh place to release my thoughts for random and anonymous people to comment on my uneventful and rather boring life. So if you are one of those users, I shall do my best to leave you some room to comment.

Given the title of this blog, I thought it would be apropos to begin by address the obvious question, why would one want to defy reality?

Phone calls, job applications,, bills, cleaning, yard work, bills, relationships, obligations, bills. All of the aforementioned are things that may have been a worry from time to time as we have grown up, but they have never been a central concern. These things were never a concern because we were all institutionalized in this nice neat little system that we typically refer to as education. From the age of five we are sent away from home for 9 hours a day to "learn" while we manage to avoid the problems that are typically associated with what our elders call "reality."

When we decide that we are done going to school, we have to face that so-called "reality." Rather than a gentle transition, our introduction to reality often resembles a brisk walk across a plank and swift kick that sends us spiraling toward the water. When we hit the surface we feel the cold icy twinges of pain as what feels like nails pierce our skin. It takes us awhile to regain our composure, to realize that we do kind of know how to swim.

We start to paddle, and depending on how much we have been forced to learn during the few years prior, we start to make a bit of progress. Sadly, we have no control over how well we know how to swim. Unless someone has put us in the water earlier in our lives and tried to teach us how to paddle and kick, we will know little.

What we quickly realize once we start to paddle is that there is never a break. It is constant paddling. We are constantly trying to reach the surface so that we could have a break, and we never get there. We are always addressing some emergency, making important calls, finding jobs, working, paying bills, tending to obligations, working on relationships, etc. It doesn't end.

Why would we want to learn what the "reality" that our elders always talk about is? Why would we want to be part of a world where all we do is constantly try to make it to the surface that seems so far away. Perhaps I am just as cynical as I have constantly been accused of being, or perhaps I am just being realistic.

So my theory is . . . we should try to find a way to address the parts of reality that we must address while defy the reality that those mindless repetitious tasks are all that there is to life. We must defy the monotony and create our own reality. For this I think is how one should live life.