E-V-I-D-E-N-C-E

Now put it all together and what do you get . . . evidence. Yes, evidence is an important little tool when you are trying to make your case for something. Imagine for a moment that you lived next door to a small little child who liked to play soccer with his small little friends in the small little side yard. Now imagine that you woke from a peaceful nap in the beautifully strung hammock in your backyard because something hit you in the face and broke your nose. How could you prove that the child and his little friends were responsible for breaking your nose? You would need some evidence, right?

For instance, how useful do you think it would be if two neighbors were out walking their dog when the ball flew from the child's foot and straight into your face? How useful to your argument would it be if the soccer ball had the child's name printed on it? How useful do you think it would be if the ball had potting soil in it that matched the potting soil found in the child's backyard? How useful do you think it would be if a surveillance camera from the mini-mart behind your house caught the whole thing on tape?

Each of those potential pieces of evidence could strengthen your argument that the child was responsible for kicking the ball into your property and waking you with a broken nose.

If you did not, however, have those pieces of evidence, you would simply sound like a whiny, accusatory, baby guilty of trying to make others' lives miserable solely because yours isn't going as planned. IF there were no soccer ball, no video, no witnesses, no name and no dirt then what could you prove? Very little. You could make groundless accusations and point fingers until you were blue in the face, but very few (if any) people would believe you.

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Note to those who were hurt in some way . . . Have some evidence before you start pointing fingers, or you might just point the fingers in the wrong directions.

Quit Your Whining Already

I do not understand why so many parents are constantly complaining about how difficult it is to have children. Nearly once a day I hear someone talk about how they are tired, worn-out or just plain dirty they are because of something that their child did the night before. Seriously . . . what are you whining about?

What right do I have to tell parents to knock it off? Well, I will tell you.

Several weeks ago I was given a plant. Although it was a small plant, it was quite delightful. There were many little buds on it and it brought a smile to my face when I thought about how I become connected to it. We have sat on the balcony together and enjoyed sunny afternoons. We sit in silence while I read and it sunbaths some more. The plant and I . . . we have bonded.

However, my plant is on its nearly ninth near death experience. I am a bad caretaker, but a caretaker who has learned how easy parents of humans have it.

What are you whining about parents? Your kids come to you and tell you when they are hungry. They cry when they are tired and they complain when they have been in the sun to long. If they have too much to drink they make you change them. They tell you what they need.

So I personally think the caretakers of plants have it much harder. We should salute those with the green thumb. For it is hard to care for and nurture plants. They cannot talk. They don't whine. They don't complain. The caretaker mustly simply be one with the plant and know when it is in need. Telepathy is a skill granted to the few.

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In all seriousness, I salute you parents for all of the running around and nurturing you do. You do have a difficult job; a job that I respect. Here's to all the parents out there!

Judgmental Nonsense

What is it with people looking down their noses at others? Why do so many feel the need to sit up upon a pedestal (that they so often do not deserve) and judge others?

I have a job. I could judge those who are unemployed. I have a good income. I could judge those who are poor. I have a wonderful fiancee, I could judge those who are alone. But I do not.

Who I am to sit in judgment of another? Who am I to think that I know so much about how life should be lived, or what others are going through, that I am competent and capable of passing non biased judgment of others.

So many people think that they know a lot about the situations of others when they pass judgment. They think that the person living on the street is just too lazy to get a job, or that the worker at McDonald's is not bright enough to be working somewhere "better" or that the person not going to church does not have any moral or ethical guidelines by which he/she lives life.

These assumptions are presumptive judgments. We assume we know more than we do. Rather than giving people a chance and accepting them for who they are, we reject them for who they often are not.

Let's say we get past the initial judgments, then what? Often we come to some twisted realization that our lifestyle is better than someone else's. Really? How do we know? Who died and made us the arbiter or what is the right and the wrong way to live life? If you believe that there is some higher power out there, isn't that his job?

I just wish that we could all allow others to live their lives. My lifestyle is very different than some of my closest friends. Yet, I do not judge them or belittle them for making "wrong" choices. Their choices are simply different.

Unconditional

Is it possible to love someone unconditionally? Let's discuss.

To love someone unconditionally is to say that you will love them absolutely; love them with no limits or conditions.

Before I begin my critique, let me start by saying that I love many people in my life. I love my fiancee (who just happens to be my best friend and soon to be husband), I love my family and I love my friends.

Does my love for those people in my life with whom I converse most freely and expose many innermost feelings to know no bounds? No. Do I think that unconditional love is even possible? Sure, but the blinders would have to been super glued to the eyes and the body pointed in one position to avoid seeing "things."

Let's say that I love friend Y. Y and I have been always been close. I lean on Y. I depend on Y. I want Y to be part of my life for many years to come. Does that fondness mean that there is nothing Y could do to deteriorate our relationship or make me question my affection? No. I think that Y could potentially do something to hurt our relationship (thus, in my mind, making the relationship conditional). To take my argument to the extreme, let's say that Y tried to kill me. Would I still love Y? That would probably depend on the situation, but the relationship would certainly suffer. If Y stole from me I would question our relationship. If Y beat me, I would question our relationship. In other words, in situations where I get hurt my love could be conditional.

Perhaps I have just been tainted by my past, but I think love is very conditional. We love people so long as they do not hurt us. We love people so long as they do not embarress us. We love people so long as they do not change. We love people conditionally.

Feel free to comment. I am intrigued by arguments on the topic of unconditional love.